The Life of Me

Of Chance and Revivial...

2007-10-31T07:18:00.000-04:00

Chance:
a: something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause
b: the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings
c: the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence

Revive:
a: to restore to consciousness or life
b: to restore from a depressed, inactive, or unused state : bring back
c: to renew in the mind or memory

(Merriam-Webster Online)

While I am sure that there has been reams and reams written (those poor trees that were felled to do so...) about chance, I am nonetheless surprised at just how much it affects us all. Why this came back to the top my mind is the recent revival of at least a couple of my friends' blogs, in addition to mine. Seems like, once one started, we picked up. Now, where exactly does chance come in?

These are friends of mine from college, more specifically, from my hostel. This group of people thrown together in the same hostel - same wing - by complete random chance develops into a great band of friends. So much so that, it is slightly scary (to me, at least) to be imagining how life would have been if one of us (again, the paranoia strikes, what if it had been me?!) had been assigned to another hostel, or been granted admission in another college... Chance.... aahhh!

Now, there would be many who would say "Yes, even given that these people are thrown together by chance, they still chose to be one another's friends, didn't they?" Well, could it not have been pure chance (again) that threw such similar-minded people in such close proximity? I guess we could go around in circles on that one...

Then there would be those who call it Destiny. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But then, having seen at least one strong example of a purely random exchange leading to a life-long bond of love, I am open to fatalistic arguments now... anyone game?

Whatever, chance, choice or destiny, I am grateful. For a few things in life... actually, as I am slowly beginning to realize, for a lot of things in life... most of them results of apparent chance...

Isn't this post a bit early for Thanksgiving?

PS: The blog revivals referred to are of Anurag's and Anil's. Check them out, if you are anyone other than those two. If you are one of those two, check the other's blog, dufus!

PPS: Oh yeah! Happy Halloween! :)

Lost Opportunities

2007-10-26T09:02:00.000-04:00

That would practically sum up most of the (almost) quarter of a century of my existence.

I have always been a rather-disinterested-in-life kind of a guy with regards to most stuff. Scratch that; I was different once. So what happened?

While I was in college, it took me a good part of three years to realize that I have been missing out on quite a lot of stuff that I could have been doing. I can only blame the misdirected cynicism that one develops at IITs for this. And, I am not talking about academic stuff - that would take a whole different and lengthy rant. I slogged my ass off for two years to get into those hallowed portals. Now what? I looked for some rest, and got quite a bit of it - time that might have been spent doing something, getting involved in something was effectively lost. You know what this leads to? One slowly starts losing interest in everything - and it sneaks up on one. That's a pretty gloomy place to be in, believe me. I did have time to make amends, and I did do that to an extent. At the end, given that those were still the best days of my life, I left with the feeling that I should have done more.

Change scene to OSU. Same story. Of course, it was sooner that I realized I am not making full use of all the opportunities that I have available here in the USA as a 'temporary alien'. I think this has been a more productive time in my life than IIT was. But still, that nagging sense that there's something more I could be doing... There's this line from Fight Club. Brad Pitt's character asks "if you were to die right now, how would you feel about your life?", and Ed Norton's character replies "I don't know[...]". Yeah, me neither...

A friend of mine recently said: "Updates from you, it's like watching The Bold and The Beautiful. I tune in after three months, and I haven't missed much." So true, and pretty sad, I guess. I guess I know what I feel about my life right now. Even if others feel it's like some stupid soap opera that no one cares about, I shouldn't feel the same way about my own life...

They say that life is the best teacher there is. What if I am a bad student? Well, at least now I am just a slow learner instead of being a bad student...

Post-Script: This post was typed up after a week that saw four night-outs, three of which were consecutive. Please do not read too much into this, or how reflective this might be of my general state of mind. I just feel tired, but that's just for now.

Reading...

2007-08-31T04:31:00.000-04:00

From July 21 to August 21:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling
2. The Lord Of The Rings - JRR Tolkein (yes, all three books, being counted here as one)
3. The Silmarillion - JRR Tolkein
4. The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials - 1) - Philip Pullman
5. The Subtle Knife (His Dark Materials - 2) - Philip Pullman
6. The Amber Spyglass (His Dark Materials - 3) - Philip Pullman
7. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams
8. The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul - Douglas Adams
9. Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

I agree this was 'a bit' heavy on fantasy, but hell, the thing started off with HP 7 after all! And to top this off, I even got some good work done on my research alongside! Good summer, overall...

Welcome Advaith!

2007-05-17T12:37:00.000-04:00

May 15, 2007, 1:28 p.m. Pacific Time.

I am an uncle all over again!!! :)

Well, How Long Has It Been?

2007-03-14T15:31:00.001-04:00

I don't even remember the last time I wrote anything here - yes, I know, I could check the "Edit Posts" section and know exactly when and what I wrote last time! I, however, choose not to do it. This keeps it more spontaneous.

Anyway, seems like no one missed me - again, especially before Anurag says it, I know that most of you would not have noticed it, or long since stopped caring. What strikes me as interesting is, most of my friends from hostel who also write seem to have dropped off writing around the same time as I did, give or take a month. Did all of us get really busy around the same time? Weird, isn't it? Anyway, a lot has happened - none of it in my life though. My life stays the same old boring way...

Anurag's gone ahead and gotten married! I'm very very happy for him, though I firmly believe that he's the luckier of the two (I am sure he'd agree too). Another of my closest friends is getting married in late-April. Are we all really as old as that to be getting married already? Who knows...

Continuing on marriages, a cousin of mine (maternal uncle's son) got married in January. I really would have loved to have attended all these weddings, but seems like life gets in the way. Anyway, why I am mentioning my cousin's marriage in its own paragraph is because I am the only one among the cousins on my mom's side that did not attend the marriage. Apart from the fact that I missed a lot of fun, this fact is important because of another apparent significance my cousins see. The cousin who got married just now was the only one who did not attend my sister's marriage way back in 2002 - and he's the first one to get married since (probably because he's the eldest one of us all left). So now, my cousins have come up with this "family tradition" that whoever misses the last wedding would be the next to get married. Add to it the fact that I am now the eldest of us left, they seem to be making plans of my wedding already.

So this is what I have to say to my cousins: One, a one-off incident does not a tradition make. Two, even if I were to be the next to get married, in keeping with the tradition, maybe you all would have to wait another 4.5 years for that to happen. Ready for the wait, everyone? Or, would someone beat me to it? I think so...

So, apart from all the marriages, what else has been going on? The human influence on global warming finally got scientific endorsement early in February - two or three weeks after which we had a huge cold wave, experiencing some of the coldest weeks in quite some time. Some places in New York (the state) got around 10-12 FEET of snow!!! And this, in February! Global warming with intense local cooling, it seems like. For the record, the past two, three days have been just perfect - Spring weather already. I just am sad that we're supposed to be having 39-43 F (3 - 6 Celsius) days over the weekend.

Well, what else... enough I guess... won't make any promises, but I do hope to be able to put something in here more often.

2006-08-17T10:57:00.000-04:00

This should have been posted yesterday night, but then I was too lazy / tired to actually get down to typing it. Another post with random bits thrown together...

The trip - to Chicago - was awesome. It was Anurag's birthday for which I was trying desperately to make it by midnight. Anyway, so, some of us from our hostel met up, seeing as it was Anurag's 25th birthday and also that we all had now a place to stay for free in Chicago. It's a really nice place, that city is. Roamed around some, just sat and talked absolute nonsense most of the time. It's wonderful how time passes when you are with old friends. It was almost like those days at Mandak (that's my hostel, btw) - only we are a bit older, not much wiser for it of course. I had a great time! :) And oh yeah, Anurag made me run (well, jog actually) around 3 miles - 1.5 miles, rest some, 1.5 miles. I never ran (OK, jogged!) so much in my life... felt good!

I made aalu mutter yesterday - after a long time... tiring job actually - peel all those potatoes, cut them... well, too much work... that is why I have been sticking to much simpler dishes for a long time now. It came out good - afterall, I am a good cook! :D I think I will start making some decent food once again, and stop always making something from frozen veggies, which require no effort at all... I am beginning to enjoy cooking once again, after being bored with it for quite some time.

I had been thinking about multilingualism somewhat lately. The reason being that I am spending a good amount of time on Wikipedia nowadays, just browsing through articles and jumping from link to link. It's a damn good way to kill time if you are in that particular kind of murderous mood. So I landed on this page about multilingualism... and been thinking of writing something on it... guess sometime soon... on that same note, I guess I have a few other things to write about - thanks to Wikipedia.

As always when I write such random ramblings on here, I can't help but understand that most people would be bored by all this. People want something remotely interesting to read about. I've seen many lament that the blogosphere has been inundated by people writing meaningless stuff that should never have left the confines of a personal diary. These are mostly from people who take blogging / writing rather seriously - like a professional responsibility - and expect everyone to be the same. But hey, I guess its to each his/her own (can't forget political correctness, can we?). Whatever... I am really rambling now...

Oh yeah, before I stop, I'd like to say - Go read The Five People You Meet In Heaven, if you haven't already done so. Awesome book... Now I need to buy myself a copy of Tuesdays with Morrie. Well, I guess that's it for today...

Waiting... ... ...

2006-08-09T16:31:00.000-04:00

Prologue: What follows was written when I was waiting at the airport for my delayed flight to Chicago. It is as boring as how I felt then. But what the hell, this is my space and I will put whatever b/s I want to…

Is there anything more boring than waiting at the gate for a delayed flight? When you don’t even have a book to kill the time – when you realize that you’re already through the security check-point and there is no bookshop in sight, unless you are willing to go out and come back in again… Actually I think there are more boring circumstances – for example waiting ON the plane waiting for them to fix some technical problem they discover five minutes before scheduled push-off from the gate. I am sure there are other more boring times, but for now, I’ll just say this is it for me – for now!

Well, seems like my flight travels haven’t been uneventful in a while. The last time I flew – to California visiting my sister – I missed the original flight both times! Yes, BOTH times! So this time I decide to get to the airport before time, thinking to myself that I’d rather sit at the gate than hurry at the last minute cursing the weekend traffic. So, I come early, check-in, pass through the security, get to the gate, and just out of curiosity look at the screens – to find that the flight is delayed, a good 45 minutes! DAMN!

Looks like Southwest Airlines is running all flights late today. As I am typing this, an announcement saying “Folks going to Baltimore, you flight is here – finally!” And there is a spontaneous burst of applause – don’t know for how long they’ve been waiting! For those who don’t know, I am waiting for the flight to Chicago – I still got about 40 more minutes to go – I hope it’s not longer. I need to land in Chicago atleast one and half hours before midnight strikes – after all, when I am going for a friend’s birthday, what good is it if I miss the midnight mark? The one and half hours, you ask? Well, I do need some time to get to his place by train, don’t I?

It’s been really long since I posted something on my blog, and I certainly would have liked the new post to be something other than just a random rant at having to wait at the airport. There are other things that piss me off much more, things both in my control and out of it. Guess trying to remember some of them is not really what I want to do right now – later maybe. **Unrelated aside – I am surprised Word hasn’t yet scolded me for wrong spellings and wrong grammar; apart from the auto-corrects it does – not bad Sai!**

What else can I write about right now? Wow! It’s already a long enough (first typo not auto-corrected by Word – typed ‘w’ instead of ‘e’ for enough) post. Well, I guess I will stop here now. I want to write something more like a creative writing piece sometime soon. I can’t say how soon, or how late I will be finally posting it, but I sure do hope it isn’t long in coming! For now, I guess I’ll just stop this and call someone to kill the time…

Epilogue: I finally did miss the midnight mark – the flight turned out to be about 1.5 hours late! I reached his home around 12:20am – damn the airlines! More on the trip shall follow soon…

2006-06-26T14:46:00.000-04:00

Part of an email from a friend after the suicide attack which killed the Deputy Chief-of-Staff of the Sri Lankan army.

The violence started out in the north, the most sensitive area in the country. Within the span of a few months it moved its way up to Colombo... the land of the elite and the moderates... people who don't want war, but are too used to its threat to run away from it. People who love their land more than they love themselves, their children, friends, lovers, homes. People who are reluctant to accept the possibility of being destroyed completely and to prepare for it.

I wonder what makes people live and be the way they are. War is a terrible thing and yet most of us who say so know nothing of it. We don't and hopefully never will understand the full ramification of the word, the process. We can only sit behind television screens or crumpled sheets of newsprint and imagine the permanence of its misery. War is a terrible thing, and yet... nobody seems to really know it. But what is certain is the fact that the human race is cursed to kill itself, if not by war then by the lingering persistence of its pain.

Pessimistic? I don't think so. Sounds closer to the truth to me...

WORLD CUP!!!!!!!!

2006-06-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

It's finally here! Missed out on the first day of play - bloody work! :((((
Catching up now... so that's it for the next one month... not much chance at all for any other news... enjoy the World Cup all of you...

Florida

2006-05-28T12:21:00.000-04:00

Am at Tampa now. We went on a drive to the Florida Keys... went to Key west... did a lot of stuff... had a greaaattttttt time. This post is just to beat Anurag to the post. A more detailed post shall come once I reach Columbus. :)

2006-05-17T18:16:00.000-04:00

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needed some time before I put anything down... Seriously, FUCK!!

Yet Another LOTR Thing...

2006-04-26T22:07:00.000-04:00

In my last post I said: "There are those who believe that Harry Potter is up there at the top of the fantasy pile, but believe me, HP comes nowhere even close to the amazing series that is LOTR."

To which, Krithiga said:
"I wish people stopped comparing the two. Each has its own merit and short comings. In Tolkien's case - it is the inability to sustain the interest of a casual reader and in JK Rowling's case it is the some times Hollywood type sub-plots. Both are vast, have adorable characters, both are rich in terms of beings and beasts. It's really impossible to rate one better than the other. May be the films, yes, LoTR is one of the best films ever made, but story wise it's just impossible. So is the case with other books in the "Fantasy pile" - Philip Pullman, for instance."

First off, let me clear up about the movies. Yes, LOTR is the much better adaptation - one of the few cases where I think the movie was almost as good as the book. Harry Potter movies, sadly, leave much to be desired. I wasn't referring to the movies when I said HP comes nowhere close to LOTR.

Yes, LOTR makes it difficult for the casual reader to stick with it and finish reading it - sad, but true. However, I never was a casual reader, and so I can't really sympathize with them. It still shocks me that people find LOTR "difficult to read", when such a beautiful work compels one to read on and on. Harry Potter, on that count, wins hands down. I know a few friends who started "reading" properly after getting on the HP series.

While HP may have it's fair share of good characters, and a wide array of "beings and beasts", it is not vast. It isn't, whatever people may say. It is a rather straightforward story about a boy facing a great, evil, Dark Lord. Not in it are the complex intertwining relationships where the deeds of many, big and small, finally affect the ending. Some may say that in LOTR as well, it all rested on whether Frodo destroys the One Ring or not, and that is all the story is about. LOTR is more than that. It is not just the overthrow of evil. It is also the establishment of that which is fair and good - where many wounds need to be healed and many wrongs set right, for such is the vast scope of that story.

LOTR is the product of a great imagination. To have built a whole world, and its history and mythology is definitely a lot more than a single story - however clever the plots and references made within it. LOTR encompasses many things which HP simply can't hope to - not any longer atleast, seeing as it is coming to its end. Anurag has said that HP has a lot of plots "flicked shamelessly" from LOTR. To that, I have this to say - "Dude, it isn't that HP flicks from LOTR, it is just that LOTR has so much that very few fantasy writers in the future can ever get out of its shadow!" Tolkien simply envisaged every kind of character that can be present in any "good vs. evil" plot. Period! That is why I said LOTR lies there, right at the top of the fantasy pile.

I can go on and on about why LOTR is much better. Die-hard fans of HP would never agree, and even when they like LOTR as much, they would still say that it is not fair to compare them both. I would say it is not fair to compare them both as well. Harry Potter is a good series, no doubt. And I am glad that it grew from a pretty children's story to a good "grown-up" (should I say?) one - makes for much better reading to those of us who are getting older. It has achieved cult status, but will not become a classic. The Lord of the Rings, on the other hand, is an epic and a classic. It wouldn't be fair to treat it on par with HP - that would be like comparing the Valar with mortal Men, Numenorean though they be! Noble they might be, but not for them the grace of the Eldar!

PS: I know that I haven't really put forth very well why LOTR is the best. I wanted to get some things out of the way, collect my thoughts, and put in a coherent piece here. But well, the previous post had too much discussion threatening to break loose. I wanted that to continue on this post - hence the hasty post. Krithiga, I also replied on Anurag's behalf about the discussion you wanted to be a part of in the comments for the previous post there.

Another LOTR thing

2006-04-20T12:05:00.000-04:00

OK, so it’s been quite a long time since the movies came out, and the craze obviously is not anymore there. And, I did write about the books and the movies already. But I think that there can’t be enough said about these books ever - I don't think I can ever be done talking about them. I don’t need to get into all the reasons why JRR Tolkein is a genius, and why LOTR is by far the best work of fantasy ever written. There are those who believe that Harry Potter is up there at the top of the fantasy pile, but believe me, HP comes nowhere even close to the amazing series that is LOTR. But let me get to the point of this post.

I was watching the LOTR movies on cable last weekend – hence the post. There are undoubtedly many fabulous characters in the series, and it would just be impossible for anyone who read the series to pick out just one whom they liked the most. Does one pick the King, Aragorn? The powerful and wise wizard, Gandalf? The fleet-footed, keen-eyed Legolas? The serious, stocky Gimli? The Elder Elf, Elrond? The Dark Lord himself, Sauron? The fair, intelligent Faramir? Frodo, who proved stronger than anyone expected him to be? Galadriel, the fairest of them all? How can one choose? And yet, in most lists that people (atleast those I know) seldom seem to mention Samwise Gamgee! And that, to me, is simply sad.

How could such a beautifully crafted character simply fall out of people’s attention? Of course, he was always second fiddle to Frodo, in a way. But, as Frodo himself says, “’Tell me about Master Samwise Gamgee’, and people would say, ‘Yes, Samwise Gamgee – Frodo couldn’t have gone as far as he did without Samwise, the brave’” or something quite close to that. Here is a hobbit who is true to himself and to his friends. One who goes willingly into peril for his master, his friend. One who provides Frodo the strength to go ahead with his rather burdensome task. One who retains his wonder at everything the world has to offer, inspite of all he has seen. A hobbit full of wisdom and commonsense, a true friend! And the list goes on… but what more does one need to say?

I admit that I can’t choose one character as my favorite among the many great ones in the series, and then not change my mind immediately. But I am sure that Samwise Gamgee is there right on top along with all the others I like, maybe more than most of the others.

2006-04-19T23:57:00.000-04:00

Well, apparantly I still do have some crap to talk about... things kept popping up over these past three days on which I guess I can write. More to come... :)

The week's getting progressively worse. Did I hit the nadir, the rockbottom, blah blah blah? I hope so, 'cause from here there's only one way to go... But, from experiences past, I think there's still one more really bad day to come before the week is over... keeping my fingers crossed...

And, as I said, more shall come up here soon... and as the line goes "Good Night, and Good Luck!" I ain't having too much of either anyways, hope some of you do...

2006-04-16T15:50:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I don't have anything to say! As sad as it may seem, that is how it is right now.

So I am off of here for quite some time to come. I guess I just need time by myself. It's been nice so far out here. I hope to come back soon enough, but am not really counting on it happening anytime soon...

Bye y'all. Stay safe and have fun! :)

(Not so) Random Numbers

2006-04-05T18:01:00.000-04:00

Let me see...

14, 83, 1, 9, 5, 18, 23, 6, 27, 10, 15, 29, 5, 7-1, 515, 767, 878, 328, 265, 756, 120, 262, 801, 314, 784, 36, 8-20, 4526, 239, 208, 203, 4, 384, 12-8, 1, 14, 15, 24...

Can't think of any more. The first three are obvious to many. There are others who can get what many of the other numbers are about. Please people, silence! :)

I know this is the weirdest post ever here. I don't know why I put this up here now...

2006-04-04T23:32:00.000-04:00

OK. On the request of many - well, not so many, but what the hell! - of my avid readers who have been dropping by here only to be disappointed to see nothing new posted, this is just a "calm down people" post! For those who are about to go "Screw you Sai! We don't care." - don't bother posting that in the comments. I already know!

I have been facing what I would hesitantly call a Blogger's block. I don't call it that outright because of a small technicality that probably exists only in my mind. You see, what I would call a Writer's Block or a Blogger's Block arises when one sits down in front of the computer, ready to expand on some idea waiting to be given form - hands ready to fire off words at whatever speed their hands and limited (or otherwise) talent at typing allows them to - and then realizes that one can't find the words to express whatever it is one wants to express. My problem was not that. No! My problem simply was that I did not feel like writing at all. Never in all these intervening days of sitting in front of the computer, working or simply whiling away my time, did I feel like putting in something here. Maybe that is an indicator of how well or how bad my life is going. But that is too lengthy a topic for me to delve into here. Besides, I am sure that quite a few of you know how that would go. Those who don't, I can assure you that you don't want to know.

I was just reading Aswathi's blog where she wonders about where writing comes from - the heart or the head. I am not sure, but I think it's a product of both. The traditional (again, according to me) writer's blocks are because of the failure of the head to deliver the goods while the heart has already developed the germ of what will eventually turn out as "writing". But what can the head do when the heart itself is not in it? I think that once you have the inclination to start writing, you can - no matter the quality of the end product. But, if you absolutely don't feel like writing, no matter how good you may be, you simply can't. And of course, if you are just doing it half-heartedly, like I currently am, you'll probably end up with the worst crap, like I am right now.

Anyway, last Saturday being the All Fool's Day, there was a lot of vellagiri I indulged in. Well, that is usually the case, but this time it was funny and enjoyable. Had been reading the world's best April 1st hoaxes - best according to the Museum of Hoaxes. Read them here - makes for great timepass, believe me.

The origins of the tradition of All Fool's Day remain unclear and under debate, and it makes little difference what they are. I had some good times when I was a kid on this particular day, and I guess that's all I care about. I haven't seen too many really funny hoaxes in recent times, of course with one notable exception. And, as always, it's Google that comes up with great ideas. Check out this year's April 1st fare from Google. Links to previous Google gags can be found from there. Have fun y'all!

2006-03-08T20:51:00.000-05:00

"Hey."
"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing much..."
"What happened? You sound awfully down"
"Nothing. I am alright."
"The hell you are! What's happening?"
"Nothing... look, can we just not talk for sometime?"
"Fine."
" "
" "
"Yeah, I am alright now... Thanks!"
"Anytime. So, what's up?"...

PS: Anurag, You ain't the only one who can up with arbit crap... :)

2006-02-20T15:51:00.000-05:00

Made some changes... the tagboard's out. thought some abt taking off the haloscan comments as well, but then decided to keep them yet. dont want to lose out on the old comments.

Been wanting to write something new again, after the encouraging replies i got for the previous post. had been tagged - by aswathi (two different kinds of tags) and nobes (links on the left, no enthu to key them in here now)... thought i wont respond to the tags... just out of an exam and at work now, supposedly doing some work. not really interested right now. later maybe. so typing out watever's coming to mind... worried as hell right now... praying for my best frnd.

anyways, since i think i hv nothing better to do, let me respond to the tags. it's going to be damn difficult. this is how it works...

tag 1
u list out 8 points u r looking for in ur ideal mate/lover, specify the gender u r looking for, and tag 8 other ppl to continue this. first, i am sort of a dead-end when these chain-messages are passed arnd. so i am going to pass on the tagging others bit. second, damn difficult isnt it, listing out 8 points? i'm not making a grocery list, for god's sake!! lemme try in any case.
gender - female
someone - who is smart; i can talk with; who doesnt get too shocked by my sometimes-morbid sense of humor; who can stand my various idiosyncrasies;... well, i think this is asking for too much already... so i guess i'll hv to stop at 4 points. guess am not really too demanding.

tag 2
this one was from aswathi. u list out 6 frnds (i think its 6) whom u wud luv to hv come over for dinner, and why. as with any tag, u pass it on to 6 others. now this is very tricky, as i dont think i can stop at just 6 ppl. lemme see - in no particular order -
"need-to-be-there" - akka, arun, anurag, prerna, archana
"must-come" - aswathi, noballs, murli, madhu, anil, kee, megs, surya, hemanth, arun (aka pandhi, different frm the one in the list above)
guess thats abt it... didnt miss anyone i think.... watever, if i missed someone who's close enuf, they'd know better than to crib - "u're welcome to drop in anytime"...
why? those on the list already know why. others, well, u shud hv figured it out by now.

as i said, tags/chain-mails/chain-messages end at me. so not tagging anyone. besides, everyone i know seem to hv already put their "coz i've been tagged" posts...

god... i think this is one of the few times that i did mention names here. well, dont care.

anyways, am off of work in 15 mins. so i guess this is where i shud stop.

2006-01-29T20:15:00.000-05:00

I am a lonely person. I am a busy person. To explain what I do is actually pretty simple. Now that I have some time on my hands, let me do just that. But this short note on myself will not be as simple as what I do, because I am very complex.

I am the head of an international enterprise. I hold the absolute monopoly in the field and that explains why I am so busy. I have been doing the same thing for as long as I remember. I am too old now to even contemplate those heady early days when I first sensed the opportunity. Now, of course, everyone knows what I do. Infact, no one on this planet can say that they haven't known me. I am in the transportation and courier services industry - to put it very broadly. But let me assure you, this is unlike any of those overnight or overseas delivery companies you see advertised on TV and hoardings and where-not these days. My service is the fastest and the most wide-spread one by far. I provide my services to everyone, and I don't charge a penny! There are, however, many related industries which thrive because of work that I do. I don't have any problem whatsoever with that. To each his own. All I ever wanted was power, absolute power, which I wield already.

I run a very tight ship, taking care of almost all the transactions my enterprise is involved in. Not for me the laissez-faire management and delegation that every one seems to engage in nowadays. This has led many to believe that I am at many places at the same time. They are not too wrong actually. Of course, I do give a lot of leeway to my dedicated development staff. They're still learning. In the early years of my career, I used to be very innovative, if I say so myself. I was the first one to realize the benefits of economy in bulk. I was the pioneer in mass-targeted outreach campaigns. At the same time I am also a strong advocate of personalized individual attention for all my clients. Little surprise then that my clientele includes the best among men, and the worst among men. Not that they have any alternate choice in the matter. Call me boastful if you will, but this is the truth. It's been too long since those days though. Everything those kids in development tell me nowadays, I have done before. But there are some exciting new ideas, which seem very promising in the field trials. Of course, they're all variations of previous experiences of mine. I am getting bored - maybe it is because of the monopoly I have! You wouldn't have seen me indulging in such retrospective musings just sometime back.

There are, however, some interesting wrinkles to iron over every now and then. Some people don't quite understand that they don't have a choice in whether they deal with me or not. It's just a matter of time. I am patient; I can wait. You'd come to me yourself someday. If you don't, I'll come myself, personally, to make sure you don't miss your appointment with me. Considerate of me, isn't it? There are again those who think that they'd deal with me on their own terms - fat chance of that actually being true. I think I deserve to use those words immortalized by Don Corleone more than he ever did - I make people the offers they can't refuse, really can't refuse. To all those pretentious many who think they can say that they've dealt with me on their own terms, I have this to say - I win all the time; and the terms are my own. Do not deceive yourselves.

There goes my buzzer - I am already late for an appointment, and inspite of the monopoly I have, I don't believe in keeping people waiting. I have been too cryptic so far. So let me introduce myself and get this over with.

I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death... And I will come see you sometime. You can count on that, if on nothing else!

Sai's Note - I have been wanting to write something for quite a while now. These last two sentences "I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death!" popped up in my head, from nowhere. So this is a very poor attempt at expanding on those two sentences without giving out anything in all that precedes these sentences. Hopefully this isn't too bad an attempt - I solely blame my long layoff period from writing for anything bad about this piece. Feedback welcome, obviously.

2006-01-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

:(

Bad news! ... "Sai, take it like you do everything else.... move on..."

will feel alright in no time... hopefully. Afterall, that's me...

Anyway, not much here for sometime... have other things to do as well... stay safe y'all!

Update: Quite alright now... well, atleast as alright as I usually am... maybe I should have said, "as screwed up as always"... anyways, gotta run, work to do!

Starting Over

2006-01-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Or is it picking up where I left? Anyway...

Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. As milestones go, changing years are as good as any to take stock of what has happened and to prepare for what is to come. So here's wishing that you all had a nice time in 2005 and got out of it some valuable lessons to make life less ordinary in the coming year. Here's wishing that all your hopes and dreams come true and that everyone finds more meaning in your lives in the year that will be. And here this wish stops.

In my case, I don't know how well that wish would come true. Looking back at 2005, I really can't remember any specific event much. Strange, isn't it? There are a few thoughts left over in my mind from the year that was. Some are those that need to be mulled over in private, some that need to be worked on with friends (which I am doing in my own laidback way, I hope), and some that can be voiced in public, for what they are worth. Continuing with revisiting 2005, I have only one thing to say work-wise. I've never been so busy doing work in all my life. And the funny thing, to the surprise of many people, is that I think I like Mechanical Engineering well enough now. A few of my friends and acquaintances from IIT were really shocked with responses like "WTF? You, and PhD?!". But well, I guess the part that I learnt about - on my own and from people interested enough to teach it to others - is great, and I don't really mind doing a PhD in this area. Yes, despite all the show of being lazy and indifferent to what I am doing, I admit it. There are some really cool things about engineering that I never paid attention to while at the best damn engineering college in India. One of life's little ironies perhaps...

What else? Bear with me here, for this is going to be a long-ish post. I think I am more than justified now in writing a long post, what with many people asking me to update my blog more often than I was doing it. So relax, pull out that comfortable chair of your's (everyone has one), make a little coffee (or whatever drink you like) if you want, and go on, read this part-rambling, part-musing of mine.

Been to India, after an year and about four months of being in these United States of America. My life here has been OK. Not much to boast about, nothing much to crib about either. Or maybe I am just one of those people who can find something worse that can happen and so don't mind their present station (Yes, this post may involve some unnecessary soul-searching comments from me; bear with me once again). Aswathi wrote that one does not realize what something is unless one misses it. I agree with her in part. But I think you realize how important something is more so when you get back to it after a period of absence. So it was with my India trip. Nostalgia was the least of the feelings I had. Family, friends, and everything that was familiar, all hit me at once. Showing me at once how much I changed, and how much the same person I was. Some of you can understand exactly what I mean, and some may still be wondering what I am going on about. Don't worry, you'll be there someday too.

A lot can be said of my trip home. But I won't say it. A lot can be said of the few days that I have been back here, catching up with friends that were here. Again, not much out of me. A few things though, in no particular order -

Need to get back to India for good. I dont think I can live here for too long. That place is too much a part of me for me to live very happily here.

It is entirely different keeping in touch with someone, and actually meeting them from time to time. And I don't just mean this about really good friends and family, but with some "casual" friends as well.

Well, so, maybe not a "few" things. Just a couple, and there they are - above.

But before I sign off, a few thanks, and just hi's. For those not on the list here, sorry. But these names are here now because I have recent reasons to name them. Love you all, but sorry can't name you all everytime I make such lists. No offence. :)

A - thanks for being there and being you. All the best dude, with all that you have going on your life - from the startup to your own more important personal venture. Oh yeah, and have fun now. No point spending life in hindsight.

A - another one, obviously. Thanks dude for being there, here in the USA. Life would have been much more painful without you here. And hey, thanks for pointing out to me that I am looked upon favorably by more people than I expected, though I'd have preferred it had you used a different way. Anyways...

P - love you. It's been great knowing you too. Am still sorry that we couldn't meet up at all.

A - didn't really expect us to bond as well as we did when we finally met. You've been great to talk with. All the best with your Conn. experience.

Well, I didn't name anyone, did I? Anyway, you know who you are. :)

Once again, HNY y'all.

A Good Weekend...

2005-11-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

... on the whole.

Friday - was busy. Came home later than usual - well, that is becoming more usual now, so I don't know if I can say "later than usual" now. Did nothing Friday night.

Saturday - was a damn great day. I wake up, get online, check for the cricket score, and see that India won against SA, ending their I-don't-know-how-many-matches winning streak. Then see soccernet.com to find Arsenal beat Wigan 3-2. Seems the Gunners played really well. Good! Now, time for THE football game of the season - Ohio State at Michigan. The best rivalry in college football. After a good start, the Buckeyes (that's us) gave up a 9-point lead to those people from the State-Up-North. And, in a great final quarter play, got two touchdowns - winning the game. How much better could the day have gone?

Sunday - spent in the afterglow of Saturday. Did absolutely nothing - as usual, had quite a bit to do.

Today - Ruing the wasted Sunday. Need to get things done. Two-and-half weeks - off to India! Yayyy...

Life...?!

2005-09-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

Confused... frustrated... pained to death... a dim light at the end of the tunnel... long long way to go... a slow march forward... keeping my eyes on the light right now... unnecessary delays when I want to work... conditions conducive - me lazy... nothing else happening... needed a break, took one... had a good time... back to the grind... back to the "same old, same old"... need to take a long hard look at myself... no enthu to think... need to get active... too lazy to do so...

"Get a life"?... well, I have one... just need to improve it... fingers crossed...

Interesting...

2005-08-31T11:44:00.000-04:00

From Barbra Streisand's blog. Lot of liberal political stuff here, but some entries are pretty good.

In 1999, George W. Bush criticized President Clinton for not setting a timetable for exiting Kosovo, and yet he refuses to apply the same standard to his war.

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
-George W. Bush, 4/9/99

"I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn."
-George W. Bush, 6/5/99

"It doesn't make any sense to have a timetable. You know, if you give a timetable, you're conceding too much to the enemy."
-George W. Bush, 6/24/05